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humor | History's Newsstand Blog - Part 7

Actual headlines…

September 10, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

We offer thanks to fellow collector Morris Brill for some of the following headlines which appeared in recent newspapers:

“Iraqi Head Seeks Arms”

“Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures”

“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge”

“Many Antiques At Senior Citizens’ Sale”

“Lack of Brains Hinders Research””

“Prisoners Escape After Execution”

“No Cause of Death Determined Fro Beheading Victim”

“Teacher Dies; Board Accepts His Resignation”

“Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline”

“Lucky Man Sees Friend Die”

“Voluntary Workers Strike For Higher Pay”


Escape from the zoo…

September 5, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

The “New York Herald” of Nov. 9, 1874 had a very lengthy article reporting an “Awful Calamity” “The Wild Animals Broken Loose from the Central Park” with many other one column headlines. This full page article–with considerable detail–reports that all the animals had escaped their cages & were roaming free in the park, leaving dozens of people “…mutilated, trampled, and injured…” not to mention killed.

The problem was it never happened.  At the very end the writer admits it’s a completely made up version of what might happen if conditions in the zoo aren’t improved. But how many people read all the way to the end of this very lengthy article? Apparently not many considering the panic which gripped New Yorkers that day. The entire city fell into a frenzy before finding out that it was all a hoax. (credit “Ephemeral New York”)

This much abbreviated report in this post was taken from the “New York World” issue of Jan. 13, 1888. See the hyperlink for the lengthier, original report found in the “Herald” of 1874.

A fascinating hoax issue which resulted in real-life panic:

Another cure for baldness…

September 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

This advertisement for “Graham’s Glass Vacuum Cap” appeared in the Oct. 7, 1905 issue of “Scientific American“. It proclaims: “See Your Hair Grow”. The instructions say that: “…when you have caused a good, healthy, red glow in the scalp…” it will cause hair to grow. I would think a red, glowing scalp would be a sign of other problems…

Actual headlines in 2002…

August 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

We offer thanks to fellow collector Morris Brill for the following headlines which appeared in 2002:

“Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say”

“Police Begin Campaign To run Down Jaywalkers”

“Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over”

“Teacher Strikes Idle Kids”

“Miners Refuse To Work After Death”

“Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant”

“War Dims Hope For Peace”

“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”

“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks!”

“New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group”

(more later!)

The Traveler… the passing of a signer… the sentencing…

August 15, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

In today’s travels, I found the Salem Gazette of August 16, 1811 carrying a very small notification of the death of the Honorable William Williams. He was a signer of the Declaration of Independence. This also stated that he continued through life as a Washington federalist.

The back page featured a small “Anecdotes” article. One item had what some may consider as a very cruel and unusual punishment. “A Corregidor debating to what death to condemn a man who had committed a great crime, because it appeared to him that hanging was too little for the offence, his clerk, who had a scolding wife, said “Had we not best marry him?”.

~The Traveler

The Traveler… Standard Oil’s dissolution… “perfectly logical”…

August 1, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

Today I found myself in the The Christian Science Monitor dated August 1, 1911 where two front page articles caught my attention. The first is a bit of a continuation from a few weeks back,which was Standard Oil’s plan of dissolution being announced. The reorganization would involve the distribution of approximately 220,000 certificates representing 35 companies.

The other article was of Chicago’s aviation event which would have the largest purse ever offered, the prizes having a total value of $80,000.  A stadium (the largest at that time) would be built that would hold 60,000 persons. Some notables to be in attendances were: Glenn H. Curtiss, Tom Sopwith, J.A. D. McCurdy, John J Frisbie, Harry N Atwood, Charles Willard and others.

I also found a cute little story entitled “perfectly logical” which just says it all…

~The Traveler

Reporting a non-event…

July 2, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

It must have been a very slow news day as the “Boston American” of April 11, 1912 has a  bold headline (see below) proclaiming a non-event (see). Ironically, this was also the day after the Titanic set sail for its maiden voyage. Four days later the headline would be extremely significant.

What to do with Adolf…

June 25, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

With an historical perspective of the hunting of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden it is interesting to read this piece in the “Stars And Stripes” military newspaper of April 6, 1945, less than one month before the death of Adolf Hitler. They wonder what to do with him once captured…

Warnings of climatic changes…

June 18, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

With much attention today given to climatic change and how mankind is affecting weather patterns around the globe, it was interesting to find this article in the  “Daily State Journal” newspaper from Austin Texas, May 10, 1871. The article paints a rosier picture in terms of mankind’s affect on climate than most environmentalists do today…

The Traveler… “The Little Belt Affair”… Bonaparte putting up a “smoke front”…

June 6, 2011 by · Leave a Comment 

Today’s travels landed on a nice surprise! The Middlesex Gazette dated June 6, 1811 carries a lengthy letter by Commodore John Rodgers to the Secretary of the Navy dated May 23, 1811.  This was referencing a confrontation between his frigate and a Britannic which at first would not identify itself, and then was revealed to be Little Belt. This incident furthered the tension between Britain and the United States which led to the War of 1812.

Also in this issue is the reporting that Bonaparte had established a public Manufactory of Tobacco and Snuff. This would be carried on by “a particular committee for the benefit of the public chest, or in other words for his own benefit, and that no private individual shall in future be concerned in the manufacture of these articles…” He would control what type and where all the tobacco would be purchased, etc.  Does it sound a little self-serving??

~The Traveler

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